The words we choose have a huge impact on whether those who receive our message interpret it in the same way we intend it.
Many words have synonyms, some of which sound better, more closely mean what we’re trying to say, or are clearer. Related to that, sometimes what we think are synonymous messages aren’t; they may even be opposite messages. Take negative language, for example.
When we hear a negative request, we have a tendency to ignore the “don’t” and hear only the thing we’re asked to not do. When told “Don’t climb on the furniture”, we hear “Climb the furniture.”
Hear are 5 examples of how we commonly include the word “don’t” when we speak to others. Included with them are more positive options.
| Negative | Positive |
| Don’t walk on the grass. | Please, keep to the pathway. |
| Don’t forget your keys | Please, remember your keys. |
| Don’t be mean. | Please, be nice. |
| Don’t hesitate to contact me. | Please, feel free to contact me. |
| Don’t go on the road. | Please, play in the yard. |
Not only are people more likely to mentally register the positive messages, they may find them more pleasing, further contributing to their effectiveness.
Remember (See what I did there?), “don’t” isn’t the only example of this. There are countless examples of negative language. We need to be mindful of the messages we send by what we say.
